This is going to be an attempt at a conclusion to my blog in Rwanda, as I'm planning on making it my last post. Unless I go back next year, which is definitely possible.
I've been home for over a week now, and I still have no trouble writing about Rwanda. It's still pretty much always somewhere in my thoughts, and it's pretty easy for me to start remembering and missing the place. To sum up my experience, I would say I loved it. To be a little more detailed....
I loved the natural beauty of Rwanda, and the fact that I left Iowa expecting more exciting scenery than I lived in but totally unprepared for what I can only imagine is the most stunning place in the world. 1,000+ hills/mountains packed into a country 1/3 the size of Iowa, with sooooo much green and somehow so many people at the same time. Volcanoes, tea plantations, forests, rice fields....
I loved the gorillas. To experience so rare an animal in so natural environment, but to be treated as a guest by them. And to be close enough to a 450 pound silverback to pet him.
I loved Kigali. As beautiful as the countryside in Rwanda is, I found myself longing to see the rolling hills littered with little houses. The people walking everywhere, the mototaxis zipping inbetween traffic, the new roads and houses and other steps to development, the stares, the small-scale businesses, the energy, the safety, the feeling that this is where the movement in Rwanda is right now, and the feeling that this is my home.
I loved the mood of Rwanda. 15 years ago one tenth of Rwandans were killed by other Rwandans and the effects are still felt. It is far too common to see amputees walking along the streets, victims of machetes during the genocide. There are too many memorials to the genocide to be counted. There are orphans, AIDS, and intense psychological damage. But for all of this, you can't spend a day in Rwanda without catching the positive atmosphere. Despite the fact that there were 1,000,000 murders 15 years ago, the overwhelming sentiment is to move on. Reconcile the past, go forward, never again. And... it works. Incredible. Rwanda feels like an up-and-coming type of place, and so does every aspect of life inside it.
I loved the children of Rwanda. Seeing streetkids wandering around every day touches your heart, but not as much as playing with the kids at Gisimba. Every child was a miracle away from becoming a homeless, friendless, glue-addled victim, and they're all so full of promise now. How can one collection of people be so loving to each other and everyone who visits? If there is any image to represent Rwanda and the hope for the future, it would be Gisimba.
I loved.... the mixed emotions I have for the government of Rwanda. It's not perfect - spend enough time and you'll find the complaints. No free press... a portion of the people who live in extreme poverty without a voice and with little attention from anyone... made up government statistics. Then again, 15 years ago one tenth of Rwandans were killed by other Rwandans. Nowadays the victims have be neighbors with the murderers. Everything needs to be put in that context. How do you ever go about making a functional country from that? And Rwanda isn't functional, it's one of the leading examples of a successful African state. Yes, Kagame could potentially turn into the next Idi Amin or Mobuto if he chose, but he really truly doesn't seem to be inclined that way. In fact, he seems to be genuinely concerned with nothing more than the betterment of Rwanda. He knows exactly how he wants to do that, and he does it. He invents jobs out of thin air for the people, forces development to occur even at the expense of slum housing, puts the whole country into a local gov't organization system, tries sooo hard to change the idea of horror and tragedy the world associates with Rwanda. Above all, he educates... and I have never seen a better case for the importance of education. There are 1,000,000 Rwandans dedicating their lives to coming to a university in the USA, and I didn't even have to try to do it. Somewhere between 1/4 and 1/2 of students entering universities in America will not finish their degree... how can I believe we deserve the opportunity to throw away opportunities simply because we were born in America instead of Rwanda?
Finally, most importantly, most unforgettably, I loved the people I met who made my time in Rwanda worth repeating again and again and again. The children who moved me. The teachers who charmed and inspired me with their dedication and motivation. The students who I made friends with, who told me about Rwanda, who gave me a perspective I can relate to, and a conversation I could easily have. The students who also inspired me with their dedication and motivation, and changed me so that I will never, ever, ever take my education for granted again. The hotel workers who were beyond friendly. The government workers who were so concerned with improving their country. The families who welcomed us into their homes. The woman who wished me peace in mass. The friends I made, for being friends. Our drivers... for, literally, everything. I have never felt so welcomed before in my life - 10,000 miles from home.
I could go on, but that would be fairly counterproductive to my goal of concluding my blog. Instead, I have stolen two quotes from my awesome friend and like-minded travel buddy to end with, pretty much summing up my thoughts on life right now.
"How is one to live a moral and compassionate existence when one is fully aware of the blood, the horror inherent in life, when one finds darkness not only in one's culture but within oneself? If there is a stage at which an individual life becomes truly adult, it must be when one grasps the irony in its unfolding and accepts responsibility for a life lived in the midst of such paradox. One must live in the middle of contradiction, because if all contradiction were eliminated at once life would collapse. There are simply no answers to some of the great pressing questions. You continue to live them out, making your life a worthy expression of leaning into the light."
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers."
I won't stay away.
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